On the Get High On Motivation show, a listener letter is read at the end of each show. This week’s question was simple and to the point, “Dear Mimi, When is it okay to cut off family?” I immediately felt this person’s pain without their expounding. It was no explanation needed, but for some of you, it may be.
Why would someone want to cut ties with their kin? What happened to flesh of my flesh blood of my blood? Well….I…..ummmm…. I remember writing in a card in college “we are thick as blood and flow like water” to my best friend, whom I prefer to label brother. I wouldn’t say we are friends, although I will still cut a b**** over him, if she makes the wrong move. lol no lol (you can take the girl out of North Nashville, but you can’t take the North Nashville out the girl.) However these days I’ll just pray on you. My thoughts are more powerful than any weapon; my mind in itself is a lethal weapon. And it is this artillery that I will instruct you use later. Back to my brother… I noticed a pattern of his behavior not honoring me. I had no problem cutting him off. Ok I did, but I learned from the Bible to cut off that which may be harm to rest of the body. I saw him as a threat to who I am.
Later in life, my cut off game got stronger. Cutting off kith, chosen family, was tough, but it prepared me for distancing myself from biological family members. Again you may ask why would you cut off family? In my mom’s family, it’s a thing. It’s what we do. My aunt doesn’t talk to my Grammy. My Grammy’s nephew won’t speak to his mom, or brother. My little cousin I helped raise, got pregnant and cut half of us off. #trending Most of the reasons seem to root in acceptance, or rather a lack thereof.
On my dad’s side I’ve mostly see the cut-off happen over money. The reasons to say Bye Felicia to a relative are endless. The question at hand though is “when is it okay?” I say when you realize this person is toxic and not serving your highest and greatest good. When you notice to minuses outweigh the plusses. When the relationship is abusive in any shape, fashion or form. Family can and will abuse you mentally, physically, emotionally and sexually. Be aware of the signs for you and your loved ones safety. Is the relationship interfering with your ability to manage the other areas of your life? Indicator light! And that Lovebugs is why I cut my father off. My relationship with he and his wife was impeding my success because I was consumed with unhealthy thoughts and emotions. I am a daddy’s-girl to the umteenth power! Unfortunately, for them, my mentor taught me “If you want to really be successful, you’re going to have leave those you love and focus ONLY on success…. Welcome to the world of Mimi the Motivator.
When I started my business over 10 years ago, Drake sang to me on repeat, “I just wanna be successful.” And it is now back on replay. Herstory is in the making!
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Be happy. Be healthy. Be You!
-Mimi the Motivator